The leaps we take in faith
You are often put in a position in which you have to invite and include someone into your world who is going to make a difference to your life.
‘I saw the signs . I just chose ignore them’
You do this when you make friends, propose to someone, employ someone or vote someone into public office.
Each time you have to do this, you are taking a leap of faith and trusting that what you see is what you will get. This often turns out not to be the case. When relationships break down or people in office fail, you feel betrayed and disappointed.
In all my years of counselling people, I have yet to meet someone in this situation who does not say: “I saw the signs at the beginning, I just chose to ignore them.”
The choice to ignore the early warning signs of what lies ahead was based on some characteristic, like insecurity and fear – or greed and ambition.
Ulterior motives cause you to see what you want to see and ignore the other signs of what you are actually buying into.
Someone who treats others as resources, whose loyalty is based on what they can get from others, is easily identifiable by how that person treats as disposable objects those they no longer require or value.
Observe, for example, how someone deals with a person with whom they are terminating a relationship – or getting rid of someone whom they perceive to be a threat. This will help you predict how they will deal with you when you no longer serve their purpose.
If you listen to how they advise you on how to deal with other people, or how they refer to people who may be important to you, you will discern their true attitude and approach to people.
You often collude with someone, albeit innocently, because you believe them to have the same objectives as you. You ignore the fact that their modus operandi in achieving that purpose betrays your values and your cause.
You see this betrayal in politics when evil actions are justified by the fact that they are carried out in pursuit of a righteous cause.
As soon as people pretend that good can emerge from bad and therefore bad is justifiable in the short term, you know that they are just trying to get power and position for themselves.
Just as we all want to trust our parents and believe that they have our interests at heart, even when they act selfishly and hurt us, so it is when we recruit people into our lives who we want to believe will be there for us and have our best interests at heart.