Life is not a dress rehearsal

There is a Bill Cosby line where a mother says to her son “if you do not behave I will smack you into the middle of next week”. The son reply’s is “I wish you would because at the moment I am having a terrible week”. This is a metaphor for how many people live, waiting and hoping for that time, that event that person that will start their lives for them and give them what they desire and long for. It is as if for them their current life is a waiting room at the entrance to the life that they would prefer. Alternatively they treat Life is not a dress rehearsall, not giving it their best of deeply investing as if saving their resources, energy, enthusiasm and commitment for the opening night. These people end up with lives that are empty, frustrating and disappointing. Imagine then, becoming or being partner of such a person. Two such people get together usually hoping that the other will give them a life. They believe that two half people can complete each other and thus each become whole. What happens in reality is that two empty spaces create one larger shared empty space. It is important to understand this before investing in a new relationship. One needs at the outset to look not only at the person that one is thinking of becoming involved with but also at what are the contents of their world, their interests, personal and vocational investments. People in relationships need to look at their worlds independent of the relationship and ask if this is a world to which a partner of other people in your life would like to be attached. Is you world a world on from which people could draw inspiration and joy. Is the atmosphere of your world one that brings comfort and peace or turbulence and negativity? If the answer is that your world needs a make-over, then stop waiting for the metaphorical Oprah to wave the wand. Find your own power and create the world of your dreams.

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